the best part of ministry

Just in case you didn't know, the best part of ministry was EXACTLY what happened last week.  A family at the church got a child placement, and while they fell madly in love with this little boy from the foster care system, they did not have little boy clothes or toys for him.  When the Department of Social Services enters a home of a child they are removing, it's often heartbreaking to see how few possessions a child actually has.  So when a child is placed, he or she often has a few clothes in a Kroger bag that come with him.

So I put the word out in the magical land of Facebook, and within the hour, one adoptive mom posted that she had a box of clothes (some with the tags still on them!) and another adoptive mom had a box of toys to send!  So I took a couple of drives and picked up these possessions, and drove out to the new home of this precious little child, whom we'll call Max.

I arrived, presents in tow, and found Max watching Dora, the Explorer -- apparently something he's spent much of his little life doing already, and has become a comfort response.  I slowly pulled out a little riding toy that made all kinds of car sounds when you pushed certain buttons.  Max immediately hopped on and began scooting around the living room.  Then he stopped, and ran over to hug his foster mom, squeezed her tight and ran back to the little car.   Slowly, his foster mom lifted the remote to turn off the TV, worried that it would cause a tantrum since TV had become such a mainstay in his little world, but he didn't bat an eye!  Round and round the couches he went, honking and beeping all the while!

As we enjoyed this little marvel of a child, the foster dad was opening the box of clothes that were donated.  "Look!" he cried, "It's a whole outfit with trains on it!  He loves trains!"   And a few minutes later, he looked up again to say, "Look at this!  It's a brand new winter coat and still has the tags on it!  No one even wore this yet!"

The excitement filled the room, and I was not even the giver.  I was just the deliverer and I got to experience this amazing joy of a little boy with toys JUST FOR HIM, and parents grateful for new clothes that will keep him handsome and warm over the coming months.

I didn't want to leave; I won't lie.  After a while, it was time to go.  I had to pick up my kids from school; they had to pick up their daughter from preschool.  But I just kept staring at the joy on their faces and thinking to myself, that THIS is why we do ministry.  Helping, supporting and encouraging one family, so that they, in turn, can radically change the outcome of one super-special little boy.  How awesome is that?!

My Favorite Adoption Fundraisers!

Both domestic and international adoptions are expensive, but even adopting waiting children or fostering can significantly impact your family finances.  There are lots of ways that families fundraise, including taking on direct sale careers such as Pampered Chef, Thirty One, or Tupperware.  Some families have a creative person in the mix and make their own jewelry or design their own t-shirt as a personal fundraiser.  Many of these can be found on Etsy or even listed on eBay.

However, some folks prefer to use a product specifically designed for fundraising.  Below are some of my favorite adoption fundraising sites!


147 Million Orphans -- This organization has tons of apparel and accessories that say, "147 million orphans."  This is the estimated number of orphans globally and the clothing becomes an excellent conversation catalyst for sharing WHY we are adopting and fostering.  

wildOlive -- This store offers fundraising options of their t-shirt and accessory designs.  What is fantastic about their shop is that they market t-shirts that have a Christian significance and might have a wider audience appeal that something that speaks specifically to adoption.  They have beautiful designs and are definitely a place to check out if you are needing a creative fundraiser.

Rebekah Blocher -- is a jewelry artisan.  She makes 

incredibly beautiful clay jewelry that is unlike anything I've seen anywhere.  I'm absolutely in love with it.  She offers her jewelry as a means to fundraising and you can contact her about how that works.  Her jewelry is really has a wide range of appeal in that she has Christian designs and also more wide-ranging designs that would be popular across the female gender.

My Crazy Adoption -- This is Kari Gibson's store.  Since beginning her adoption, she has been an adoption advocate and has used this store to help reach communities all over the world!  She designs beautiful t-shirts and has a fundraising program that is well-established.  Her site is fantastic as she's a woman whose dreams seem impossible and then God does the impossible through her.

{more coming . . .}

While You Wait

After deciding whether or not to foster or adopt, our agency is bound to pass along a batch of paperwork the likes of which can only be compared setting up a mortgage on a house. It's daunting at best!  Normally, any internal debate we have about adopting and fostering happens before the paperwork, so once it's handed over, we race wildly to get it all done.  We're ready.  We want someone fill us in on the mystery of which child God is placing in our lives.  The faster the paperwork is done, the sooner we are to having our placement.  Right?

It feels that way, but once we finish the race of paperwork, we enter into this unsatisfying lull of waiting.  It's crumby.  And it's a let down from all the excitement of finishing our checklist of signatures.  However, whether or not your waiting lasts a week, a month, a year or much longer, there are definitely some things you can, and should!, be doing while you wait.  Here's the top 15 to get you started!

1.  PRAY!  Every single day, you should be praying for your child, his/her birth family, your family, and those in social work and government who are making decisions that will affect your lives!  I honestly believe that adoption and fostering are so close to God's heart, that the Enemy attacks and the more praying you can do, the better.

2.  Prepare the room.  You might be mapping out a brand new nursery or setting up for a teenagers.  Either way, you have a lot to do to get ready!  You may need a new coat of paint on the walls, furniture, bedding, etc.  You may even need to evaluate areas around the house that might need to be expanded.  Does your kitchen table seat enough for your new family?  Does your car?  There are lots of things to begin thinking about as you add members to your family!

3.  Get out of debt.  This may not be possible in the amount of time you have to wait, but the more you can work towards this goal, the better.  Adding a new family member is going to add a level of stress to your finances.  If your finances are already a considerable stressor in your family dynamics, then it would be wise to take your waiting time and make some large strides in reducing your family spending, and setting aside money from your paychecks to get some headway on your debts.

4.  Fundraise.   If you're adopting domestically or internationally, then there are some hefty expenses coming your way, and using the 'get out of debt' mentality, fundraising is going to be a great way to alleviate some of the burden those costs make on your family.  Even if you're adopting out of foster care, and have no direct fees to pay, fundraising is still an applicable option for your future costs of new diapers, clothing, etc.  There are loads of adoption fundraising organizations out there, as well as direct sale businesses that allow flexibility for when you work, but might be great avenues for putting away a little extra cash.

5. Research adoption and cultural events in your area.  Many churches celebrate Orphan Sunday in November of each year, and many local fostering agencies put on Adoption Saturdays and other fun, local events to bring adoptive families together.  If your child is coming from another region in the world, also check into cultural events, such as multicultural celebrations or parades.  These are going to be great ways to build yourself a network of friendships, but also allow your future child to meet adults and children with similar backgrounds.

6.  Take some pregnancy photos!  I'm serious!  Just because you're not biologically pregnant, doesn't mean you aren't expecting!  Make the most of it.  There are MANY ideas out there.  Check out Pinterest, talk to a photographer or other adoptive moms, and get some ideas!  Celebrate this special moment in time where you are.

7.  Educate your friends and family.  While you may be reading all about adoption, the issues of children from hard places, the lingo that's politically correct, and how attachment works, you're family may not be!  Clip articles for them as you ready them, or share strategies you plan on using, so that your family is not alienated, confused, or accidentally steps on your toes once you bring your child home.

8.  Build a support system.  While we always want our siblings and parents to be excited about our adoption decisions, oftentimes they are candid about their apprehensions.   No matter how your family feels, you NEED a support system.  While you're waiting for your placement, start meeting with other foster or adoptive moms who have used or are using your same agency.  Check out yahoo groups, or ask around if area churches have an adoption ministry.  Go out to coffee with an adoptive mom, or invite a fostering family over for dinner.  Do things to build your network, so that when you have questions, you have more than one person to call on for help, advice, or ears to listen.

9.  Be an advocate.  My friend, Sophy, has a hair salon and she talks endlessly about adoption.  She loves to bring it up, and because she does, she's met all kinds of mothers who have adopted and fostered.  She's talked with all kinds of different birth moms with intentions of relinquishing their parental rights, and counseled with moms who've experienced abortions.  Because she has been so open in discussing this subject, she has been able to point parents to our ministry, connect birth moms with resources, and more.  The more you talk about it, the more you find out that God has placed numerous people in and around your life that have been touched by adoption, and this will help create your support system, as well as maybe encourage more families to adopt as well!

10.  Research attachment.  Whether your new child will be 5 days old when you receive him or her, or whether your child is 17, it would be a wise choice to learn about how to better attach with your child.  Some mothers feel an instant connection with their children, and others need time for that relationship to build.  Children are the same way.  For both your sakes, it's good to have some planned strategies ready for how to help foster connections, build affection, and bond with your new child.

11.  Research the local school system.  If your new placement is school age, then you might want to research the local schools to learn about their diversity, the in-school and after-school programs, and multicultural and language support systems.  Not only that, but you might want to begin having conversations with your school's guidance counselor and administration about your child is he or she may need to enter a grade that does not match his or her age.  If you already know your placement is going to have special needs or language supports, then it's good for the school system to have a plan of action that's ready to go when your child arrives.

12.  Write letters.  Even if your new child is going to be a baby, consider writing weekly letters to him or her, storing them in a box, in order to present them to him/her at a later date.  Children who are adopted often experience a level of loss when pieces of their personal history are unknown.  What a great gift it would be to be able to say, I wasn't there when you were in your birth mom's tummy, but I loved you even before I knew you!

13.  Make a photo book!  Babies can see black and white, and I've seen moms make laminated photos of set them inside the crib for the little one to look at.  My kids came to me at ages 4 and 5.  They LOVED looking at Shutterfly books we made that had their new aunts, uncles, siblings and grandparents in them.  We made each child a book, and the loved "reading" it at bedtime and throughout the day.  Even now, they still love those books, and looking through them gives them a wonderful feeling of nostalgia.

14.  Buy adoption story books!  For some parents, talking about adoption with their child is easy.  For others, especially parents who adopted children as infants, it's a little harder to bring up their adoption.  But psychologists and therapists agree, that the more discussion you have about adoption early in their childhood, the easier it is on the children to learn, accept, and even feel pride in.  There are great children's books that open those doors of discussion.  Go ahead and find them now and stock the bookshelves!  Then you can begin talking about adoption and singing adoption songs to your child even as they fall asleep in your arms.

15.  Check your FMLA policies at work.  Whether you bring home a baby or a teen, you AND your spouse are entitled to time off from work.  In the United States, employers are not allowed to discriminate between a biological child or an adoptive child (though a foster child might be different).  They are also not allowed to discriminate between the mother's rights and the father's rights.  Talk to your Human Resource director at work, and give him or her time to research your rights, so that you can make an educated plan of which spouse takes time from work, and for how long.  

{just losing the junk}

I'm down 23 pounds, and I share that because I feel pretty certain no one on earth knows this blog exists.  I've been cutting carbs, using Pinterest to search out all the funny concoctions fellow low-carbers are making to replicate our favorite starches.  It's been quite a journey; that's for sure.  Finding loaded cauliflower (the substitute for baked potatoes) and breadless pancakes that boggle my mind.

Honestly, I feel really good about the diet.  It seems the Internet is convincing me of how right I am to forego processed food for my health, while *just happening* to make me slimmer.  I did Weight Watchers years ago and absolutely loved budgeting my points all day so that I could make an entire dinner out of Breyers Icecream.  Making homemade crackers out of flax seed definitely feels healthier.

And it's working.  23 lbs. is none too shabby!  Truth be told I have a good 20 more to lose.  It's great though to discard the fat pants I've been wearing and dig through older, smaller clothes that have been packed away in the attic.  It's exciting and gratifying.  Thankfully, I don't want to celebrate with food!  Momentum is definitely my friend in losing weight.

I was at the grocery store yesterday and grabbed two bags of dog food.  After a quick check, I was carrying two 18 lb. bags!  It is hard to believe I've already lost a whole bag of dog food in weight and am well on my way for the second one.  Wild.

Is this boring?  {thank goodness no one is reading!  whew!}

SO.  I have 2 weeks until Thanksgiving.  7 more pounds to top off at an even 30, seems like a realistic goal, don't you think?  Then a lovely carby holiday and back on track the next day to recover from my long-lost love of mac and cheese.  

I wont lie that most of my weight is stress-eating.  Losing weight makes me feel like I'm going back in time -- taking off the stress in layers, and heading back to an earlier me.  It's a strange thing to admit, but I feel like I'm erasing layers of residue from all the bad trials and crazy hardships that we've faced over the last decade.  It's not real, of course.  I'm not going back in time, and I wouldn't want to.  But I feel like I'm shaking off the bad and keeping the lessons God has been teaching me -- keeping the memories, the heartaches, the experiences, and the growth.  {just losing the junk}

Baby Girl Moore

{coming soon}